Perfect Friday Afternoon Story
Mike Bloomberg sure knows how to get our attentions on a rainy Friday afternoon here in the Big Apple. He went to London to meet with new Tory Mayor Boris Johnson and all he got was this lousy t-shirt:
The two politicians' ritual exchange of gifts became slightly awkward when one ceremonial present turned out to be much pricier than the other. Bloomberg gave Johnson a Big Apple crystal paperweight from Tiffany, one of New York's finest shops, while Johnson gave Bloomberg a plastic-wrapped novelty shirt printed with a map of the London Underground.
"This is not the most handsomely wrapped present," Johnson said. "It's meant to show the frugality of the new regime."
If I were an economic historian, I'd point out that Mayor Johnson also could be factoring in the value of all the British loan money that American debtors have defaulted on over the centuries of our "special relationship." But I'm not an economic historian. I'm also not one to comment on the "special relationship" that Mayor Johnson seems to have with hair conditioner.
But let's face it - that t-shirt might come in handy in the future. At first we were like "Hey British people, we saved your necks from the Nazis and their V-2 rockets in World War Two, and all you gave us were The Beatles," but then we were like, "Oh, hey, thanks for giving us The Beatles."
As a further amusing indication of the continuing differences between the easily-embarassed American culture and the stiff upper lip of the English, it's fun to see how the conservative Daily Telegraph covered this incident:
As the two mayors met at City Hall overlooking the Thames, Mr Johnson gave his American counterpart a novelty shirt featuring the London Underground.
In return, Mayor Bloomberg handed over a crystal Big Apple paperweight in a Tiffany jewellery box.
I do say. Is their inattention to the details here evidence that they were more, or less embrassed by the exchange than was the AP's reporter?
But maybe the English are just more clued in to what a lame gift a paper weight is. I mean, c'mon, a paper weight? Even if it's from Tiffany's that's still kinda like a passive aggressive gift you give to someone you don't like. Look at how the Daily News reports the gift exchange:
"I just wanted to give you a little symbol of New York City to put on your desk," said Bloomberg, pulling out a Tiffany box containing a crystal apple. "You should look at it and want to compete with us. We can help each other."
Johnson thanked him, then pulled out his own gift - a collared shirt printed with a map of London's subway system, garish enough to prompt guffaws throughout the room, still in its store-bought package.
"This is a bit of an impromptu souvenir," Johnson said, as Bloomberg grimaced. "This is not the most handsomely wrapped. This is to convey the frugality of the new regime."
"A little symbol" of New York. Who knew the mayor was such a queen? Mayor Johnson would be smart to put it back in that sweet blue box and re-gift it to his mother this Sunday. "Mum, I've brought youa little symbol of New York" he'll cackle, and ask her for another spot of tea.
