Jenna to Finally Escape Bush Family Dynasty
Hey, this is your official preview at Veracifier for when Jenna Bush will put on the white dress, get in that Texas limestone altar, and say I do with the young Mr. Henry Hager.
Mazel Tov, Jenna and Henry.
Be sure to sit still at that front table while Don Rumsfeld comes by and hands you a big envelope full of euros and says how great it is when two young people love each other. Henry might also want to ask Rummy for a copy of Rummy's rules for help in managing your marriage. Try this one from the section, "On Life": "Simply because a problem is shown to exist doesn’t necessarily follow that there is a solution."
And Jenna, when it's your father's turn to lead you on the first dance of the evening, be sure to make it look like he's leading, even though we know in incident after incident that the guy has two left feet (and probably two left hands, given some of the bills he's signed/vetoed).
No, seriously, I do have to commend Jenna for the decision to not inflict this dynastic jump over the broomstick on the nation deliberately. Yes, we know that Inside Edition will be there in Crawford shooting their endless b-roll, but you didn't invite them, and we know that. Really, it's not like you're pretending you're some beautiful young Princess Diana who is going to bewitch our nation and make us feel like we are an empire again (oh wait, ever since your daddy invaded Iraq...). But we're glad your princess fantasies are being kept out of the White House Rose Garden and remain firmly planted in the McClennan County dust. We hope this will be the very final act of the Western White House charade that this president put America through. Whoever gets elected next, I think we're all at least secretly hoping that we can get back to the sort of competent, year-round governance that we've expected from previous presidents, and get away from all this symbolic cleaning of brush and riding around in pick-up trucks in the scrub that W has inflicted on us. Really, that you'd do this big move out of the public eye and not insist that it be broadcast on C-SPAN shows that you dusted yourself off pretty good from the above depicted fall.
Even the lefty websites aren't finding much of a hatchet to unearth over this one - I went looking and I was expecting to see bloggers calling for congressional hearings about how much the extra Secret Service details and yadda yadda would cost taxpayers, and whether the gifts you'll get are all secret hush money to the president, but I didn't find it. A Kossack was annoyed that Mrs. Bush talked about the wedding at the end of her press conference on the Burmese cyclone disaster, but I think when you watch the video, she comes out pretty well, quite a bit more subdued than the diarist would have you believe. A righty blogger gets outraged at a bunch of Huffington Post bloggers writing crazy things, but the provenance of this kind of talk on that website can never be demonstrated - crazy right wing people might want to make liberals look crazier, too. And then we've got the claim that cousin Lauren can't bring her boyfriend to the wedding because he's a Jew. But New York magazine pokes some effective holes in that theory.
So, that's that - it's gonna be a wedding, and it's gonna be over, and we're only going to hear or see as much about it as the White House wants us to see and hear - like with most things, these days - and so far, it appears that's not going to be much.
But hey, if anyone out there wants to claim that they're live blogging the wedding, I will live blog their live blogging of the wedding.
